As a former cautious child - minus stitches in the head and knocking out two front teeth - seeing this small "witch's wheel" (hello, St. Paul Lutheran playground) gives me butterflies. For the past two years, B always wants to go on it. And, sure enough, it's usually full of nine year old boys running like maniacs and surrounded by mud. I've tried to steer her away, but this weekend, I gave in. I took notice of the mud and some other preschoolers onboard and literally gave her the thumbs up (our new code for "awesome, we like it"). I stood close by watching that piece of metal spin around trying to keep one eye on Samuel before someone kidnapped him from the sandbox or some big kid stole his shovel. Then I heard it - the sound of pure joy. My butterflies didn't ease up, but I know a big, giant, goofy smile came pouring over my face. It was in that moment - and the moments that followed as she then pushed the indestructable metal piece of junk around and around and fell in the mud laughing - that I knew I needed to let go. My kids will fall, they will get stitches, they will get scraped, but it will all be done in the name of fun. I am starting to realize I have an almost five year old and that in and of itself is hard to believe. I recently told B to stop growing up so fast. And, she replied "mommy, when I am five I will still be your baby." And, to this I say - yes, you will. I will never stop getting those butterflies. And, I will never stop loving the sound of that infectious laugh. Just try to grow up a little more slowly.
